Week 14 - HELLO 2ND TRIMESTER!!!

LIFE IS GOOD!!!

I know it's been a long time since I last wrote.  About 8 weeks have zoomed by like nothing it seems.  Yes, the days seem to drag on and it seemed like I'd never get to the 2nd trimester, BUT THEN...
BADA-BING, BAD-BANG... Here we are at the start of my 14th week!  HOLY MOLY!!!

Reality still seems like a dream and at times I'm still in shock that I'm actually pregnant!  I know I feel pregnant, I see the ultrasounds, I hear the heartbeat... but it's still hard to believe.  I've dreamed of this so long, planned for this, and now my dreams are finally coming true.  I'm still awe struck.

So a lot has happened in these nearly past 2 months.  Good news, and then some not so good news.  First the not-so-good-news (I don't want to call it "bad news" because nothing is bad about being pregnant finally)...

• Well "Baby B" didn't make it.  :(  Baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and even though we got to see and hear his/her heartbeat twice, it was always slower than Baby A's.  By week 8, Baby B had not progressed past 6 and a half weeks.  It was sad, but bitter sweet as we saw Baby A was growing phenomenally.  By week 9, it was clear that Baby B would just be a memory in our dear hearts.  No heartbeat was found and the sac seemed to be getting smaller.  They call this phenomenon "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" (Disappearing Twin Sydrome), literally, one twin will for no apparent reason stop growing and will dissolve into the woman's body.  My doc (and from what I've researched) says it actually occurs more often than caught, but since it occurs at such an early stage in pregnancy, most women never know they had ever conceived twins because by the time they see their OB in their 10th week, the sac has disappeared.  I would have probably never known, had I not been monitored as closely and as early as they do with fertility specialists.  This will have no effect on Baby A whatsoever and I am expected to have a completely normal singleton pregnancy.  So while this is sad news, I was not devastated as something deep in my gut told me not to get my hopes up.  I tell ya... I've done a lot of research and I knew statistics on fertility treatments, multiple births, as well as the risk of things like this.  I was sad especially because Baby B's sac hung in there until the 12th week and it was a little disturbing to see it every time I'd go in to check on Baby A.  Either way, we will cherish the memory.
• Morning Sickness is no joke!  I have yet to have a week go by where I don't experience some kind of nausea.  Yes, it has gotten a lot better since my first trimester.  During which, I was sick every day- morning, night, and noon.  It was worse at night and hard to sleep and enjoy dinner.  It made some days a little hard to concentrate at work and some weekends were wasted sick in bed.  I'm thankful I have never gotten to the point of throwing up, but some days just wish I would so that maybe I could feel better.  Now that I'm in my second trimester, the nausea is still there but not nearly as bad.  Now it's usually worse after I eat, or when I'm really hungry.  I still haven't found a cure-all, but I did buy some SEABANDS which seem to help.
• Food Aversions:  Of all things... I completely hate vegetables.  C'mon you've got to be kidding me!  Something I'm supposed to be getting plenty of and now I can't stand the sight of much less the taste of.... how will I get proper nutrition?  I'm hoping my prenatal vitamins are helping to carry this load for me.  I try to cook them, steam them, grill them, dip them, mix them and no matter what, they make me nauseous, enough to ruin a meal for me.  I hope this doesn't last much longer.  I used to love veggie plates.
• And to make it worse.... I'm absolutely craving red, juicy, beefy, meat.  You know that stuff you're supposed to limit yourself to once or twice a week?  Nope, Baby wants the good stuff.  And forget chicken.... One of my all-time faves, go-to meals, Chik-Fil-A lovin'... nope... not satisfying enough.  At least it doesn't make me sick like the veggies do.  But I'll just pick at the chicken and never seemed to be satisfied with it.  But throw me a juicy steak, and I'm in heaven.  What a 360 degree turn around (I never used to be much of a red meat eater)!

Which brings me to the good news...

• Baby is growing like a weed!  Today baby is the size of a beet.  We still won't know the gender, but my intuition is telling me it's a boy because of all the red meat I'm craving.  LOL.
• We went in for our first trimester screening and baby is perfectly normal.  Plus we got to see 2 arms and 2 legs at the ultrasound! And baby is moving up a storm!
• Mom is doing great as well.  Got clearance on all my labwork and everything is looking good! Even despite the lack of veggies and the carnivorous appetite.

So what else have we been up to?  Well we officially graduated from our RE's office 2 weeks ago.  I was so sad to leave them.  They really took care of me and I was very fond of the doctor and staff.  I left them a thank you gift (fruit basket) and hugged them all at our last appointment.  Now that I'm part of the mainstream women at my OB's office, I feel like I'm just another number.  Our first appointment with my current OB was about 3 weeks ago.  Though she seemed nice, I just got a bad vibe off her.  She seemed really negative, and though I know she's just trying to be realistic and can be a bit blunt, I don't appreciate that kind of attitude with my first... long awaited... pregnancy journey.  And since we've decided to forfeit the birthing center option (more on that later), when I asked her opinion on natural birthing and doulas, she seemed to brush off the idea and stress her opinion on what's necessary for the health of the baby (yes, I know... that's my first priority too... duh!), so she kept saying the word C-section and I totally drowned her out.  Anyways, I decided to finish my pregnancy work up with her (labwork, genetic testing, etc) and now I'm in the process of switching doctors.

Back to our hospital birth decision.  So as you recall, there was a time when we thought we would be having twins.  So immediately to me, that threw out the idea of having a birthing center birth.  I figured the risks were too high and I didn't want to put us or our babies through that.  So naturally I started researching OB doctors.  I asked around and checked some reviews online.  I found one doc that I was really interested in, but when I called to make an appointment back in September, they said she had no availability until November!  So they suggested her associate... and that's how I got stuck with my current OB.  Now after we heard the news of Baby B, I considered switching back to a birth center, but my RE was adamant about getting an OB.  And then I started doubting myself.  All this we've been through, I didn't want to risk any chance of having anything go wrong.  So I made up my mind and stuck with the hospital birth.  I figure if all goes well with this delivery, I will choose a birth center for our next pregnancy.  Anywho, now I'm Gung Ho about making this hospital delivery experience as natural and beautiful as possible.  I'm insistent on hiring a doula, starting prenatal yoga, going to birthing classes, doing peritoneal massage, learning breathing techniques all so that I can make this as natural as possible.  I know I'm still gonna get an IV, and I know there's a chance I'll get scared into a C-section.  But I want to train my mind and my body that I can do this.

So we started interviewing doulas.  The first doula we met with seemed really good and she has a lot of experience.  I probably would've hired her on the spot if I weren't told to interview at least 3 doulas before making a decision.  So now I'm going to research and find two more to interview.  This weekend I am going with a friend to do prenatal yoga (yoga newbie here).

And speaking of... I know quite a few ladies with EDD around my date.  It must've been one hot and steamy summer... LOL.  Speaking of one in particular... one of my very good friends is about 1 week later than me!  I was so excited for the both of us as this will be our firsts!  It's so fun to have someone who is like a sister going through the same thing as you.  I can't wait to share our bonding experience together.  She's gonna be my bump buddy and yoga partner.

I plan on getting a 3D/4D US sometime in November, since I can't wait until Dec 15th for my scheduled anatomy/gender scan.  We're too impatient.  We want to know Baby Frijole's gender like yesterday!

By the way, we finally revealed to the world we are expecting.  Here are our photo reveals:

Ok, I'm tired of typing I'll leave you with a pic of baby Frijole.  Until next time...

Week 6

Yesterday, DH and I went in for an US and bloodwork.  Frijoles were measuring at 6wks and 5 days AND 5wks 3 days. And then we were blasted with another surprise. Two sacs in one yolk sac! The nurse had a hard time zooming in on the babies, and the heartbeats were barely just visible.  She was even able to let us here the heartbeat on one, but it was so faint that I couldn't hear it. DH said he heard it and he was so happy. HR was 113  BPM. We have a followup US with the doctor on Friday. Hopefully that will clarify everything. I feel so lost and confused. Other than that, my labs came back good.

Today's symptoms: heartburn, excessive hunger, morning sickness, fatigue and bloated. I just feel "weird" today.

Morning Sickness

Baby is the size of a pea.

So I think I've started feeling what may be morning sickness.  I wasn't sure at first. We had a very nerve-wrecking weekend and I thought that maybe my "queasiness" had something to do with my anxiety.  But even after all that, and into today, I've continued to have these symptoms. Funny how everywhere I read, they said morning sickness usually starts in week 6. And as of yesterday, I'm officially in my 6th week.

So what are my symptoms. Well for one, I continue to have this dull cramping in my lower abdomen. I've had these since the day before my BFP. Frequent urination, of course, had started and I've had that for a week already. And since Saturday night, I've had morning sickness. It feels like queasiness (it kind of feels like I am so famished I am nauseated).  I also have excessive salivation, which doesn't help the situation. I'm eating a small snack almost every hour cause that seems to be the only thing that helps my symptoms. Finally, I have fatigue (more like constant tiredness), but that's almost how I felt even before pregnancy.

Tomorrow we have an appointment for ultrasound and bloodwork. Hoping to see these babies' heartbeat.

First Craving?

So I wanted to try some crushed up potato chips with my cookies and cream ice cream. Would this be considered my first weird pregnancy craving?

Holy Guacamole!

DH and I went in for our first US. I Was A Nervous wreck and thought I may possible throw up on myself. I still felt pregnant and even still getting my occasional twinges of pain in my abdomen, but I guess I still feared the worse.  So we show up and the waiting room is full. "Great!" I think sarcastically. We ended up waiting nearly an hour and not only am I nervous, but I'm also anxious because I'm worried about being late for work.

We finally get called in and they send me in for blood work first. Same old, same old. Then I go into the exam room where I undress and wait.  I tell hubby how nervous I am and hold his hand. The nurse comes in and she too asks if I'm nervous...I guess it shows.  "Very", I tell her.  She goes on to explain what they are looking for today... a yolk sac....anything else is bonus. 

So up goes the wand and we all turn towards the screen...  Searching... Searching.  "Ok, so see this black circle? That's the yolk sac.  I see one..." The nurse says.  She moves around a little. "Is that another one?" DH blurts out. WHAT, the WHAT?  "Um, it looks like one. Let me see." the nurse responds. We both hold our breath.  "Yep, sure looks like it. Two yolk sacs." She smiles at us.

TWINS?!

Are you serious?!

TWINS?!

Shut the front door!  You've got to be kidding me. DH is squeezing my hand and smiling. I am in shock... Speechless.  I finally say "Two yolk sacs, means two babies, right? I mean, I know its still really early and we should be cautious." "Yes" the nurse nods. She goes on to explain the test of the monitoring protocol.  Twice a week until week 12 then we will "graduate" to an OB for prenatal care.

Hold On To Your Horses, It's gonna be a bumpy ride!

I'm BAAAAAACK!!!

OMG!
OMG!
OMG!
Is this a dream?!!! Is this really happening?!!!  Almost four years and I thought I'd never see the day!
It is true... believe it... it's our time... we were meant to be .... parents.... finally.
(Cue happy tears)

 

 

So it really hasn't been a secret.  We've been TTC once again and started about 3 months ago.  I finally decided to book a consult with an RE.  We had a lot going on in our lives so what prompted me to start another round of TTC, I have NO EARTHLY idea.  We were going through some family drama.  I was working a lot... working long hours.  I had started losing weight the first few months of the year, but with all the added stress going on, I started slowly putting it back on.  So I don't know why I thought of all times, why this would be the right time.  I guess maybe I wanted to think about something other than what was going on at work and at home.  But either way, in the beginning of this year, I remember thinking 2014 was going to be different.

 

I had decided to change my lifestyle and my weight was a priority.  I have been obese nearly my entire life and had ups and down the past few years.  TTC was in the back of my mind, as it was most of these past four years, but I knew I had to change myself and my habits if we were to invest time and money into future rounds of treatment.

 

So back when we first started TTC, hubby had a SA at this place called Houston Fertility Institute.  A few months ago, I started doing research on it, saw some good reviews, and saw that they were in network with our insurance company.  I decided this would be a good place to start. 

 

April 2014:

DH and I met with Dr. Williams for our consultation.  I was really nervous because I knew going to a specialist was serious business.  I came prepared with all my past medical records and history (I even had my records sent there before I even had the appointment scheduled).  We were lead into the doctor's office where he did our consult.  He asked us our medical history and explained the different services we would get while being under his treatment.  I presented my history and records and we were set up with appointments here and there, quickly thereafter.  I hadn't had AF in three months and they sent me home with a script for Provera to bring her in.  I was told to call the day she came in for her visit. They also sent DH to have another SA done sometime in the next week.

 

Two weeks passed and AF came.  I called the office and had my lab work and first ultrasound set up.   They drew 7 vials of blood and I was so happy that the tech got my vein on the first stick.  I've always had issued getting my blood drawn.  After that I got the baseline US and afterwards they sent me home with a script for BCP!  BCP, can you believe it?!  I haven't been on those in 4 years.  I was kind of sad for a moment, but after the research I've done, I knew I'd probably be on them sooner or later.  The doc also said he wanted to do an SIS (saline infused sonogram) on me to make sure my tubes weren't blocked and to see if all was well inside my uterus.  This was to be done at a surgical center since they would anesthetize me. We set up the procedure for the following month.

 

May 2014

I was very nervous the day of the procedure and already we were coming out of pocket with expenses. DH was with me.  The procedure went well, but the doc did notice I had some extra tissue at the top of my uterus which he removed with D & C while they had me under.  This really surprised me as I wasn't expecting something so invasive.  Luckily, my tubes weren't blocked and they sent me home that same day.  I was crampy for a few days afterwards and had bleeding as is typical after such procedure.  They had me continue the BCP and sent me home with a prescription for Estrace to rebuild my uterine lining.

 

June 2014

We finally were done with procedures returned back to the office to meet up with Dr. Williams for a rundown of all that had gone on the past month and a half.  He sat down with us again and went over everything.  Again, he went over the results of the SIS and also my bloodwork and US where he diagnosed me with PCOS (well... duh), and other than that everything else was fine, including on DH's end.  He told us he would put me on Clomid (uh again?) once I stopped bleeding. I was hesitant to take it since it didn't work the past few times and explained this to the doc.  But he assured me it was a different dosage.  I had taken 50 mg and 75 mg previously before and this time I would be taking 100 mg.  He also sent in a script for Ovidrel (to trigger, as we had chosen to BD) and Endometrin (progesterone).   I had to order my meds through a private pharmacy that specializes in fertility meds and does home delivery. 

 

They told me to call back once I stopped bleeding so they could run baseline bloodwork and instruct me when to start Clomid.  And I swear I bled for one month straight.  I called the office every week to reschedule my monitoring since they couldn't do my US while bleeding.  I has was bleeding heavily!  I grew concerned by the 3rd week because I was soaking at least 5 pads a day and I had already rescheduled my appointment 3 times. 

 

July 2014

Finally, a month later my bleeding had lightened up and so they asked me to come in for the baseline US and blood work. They started me on Clomid that day and scheduled me for an appointment 2 days later to monitor how the Clomid was doing.  I went in 2 days later and told them I had started bleeding heavily again.  They drew my blood and did an US and saw that my follicles were still small and that my lining was thin.  They told me to come back in two days that maybe the Clomid hadn't done its work yet.  I asked about the bleeding and they said not to worry that even if it was AF, Clomid would still work.  They sent me home with a prescription for Vivelle-Dot which are estrogen patches.  I came back two days later still heavy bleeding.  My follicles had hardly grown at all and they told me to come back one more time the next week for US and blood work.  They increased my estrogen.  I was still having bleeding when I went in for my 3rd monitoring appt.  This time the doctor did my US and he did a small procedure where he siphoned out the fluid out of my uterus.  This was SOOOO painful I almost cried, but when he suggested we do another SIS instead, I told him to just continue the procedure and I would tolerate it as best as I could.  I'm just glad I got though it.  I was so painful.  He said that should help with the bleeding and suggested I come in one more time in two days to check everything.  Sure enough, that night my bleeding had started getting lighter and by the time in I went in for my final monitoring for that cycle I was just spotting lightly.  I knew that this cycle was going to be a fail.  My body just felt all wrong and I was just waiting for the news.  Sure enough, at my next appointment, they said my follicles were just too small and they were cancelling the cycle.  I was disappointed, but not surprised.  They told me to call once the bleeding stopped completely and they would initiate the next cycle

 

I called them a week later to tell them the bleeding stopped and they called in a prescription for Provera to bring on AF.  I explained that I had JUST stopped bleeding and they said that wasn't a period that my hormones were still adjusting to everything and that the Provera would initiate a new cycle.  They told me to call once AF showed after taking Provera.

 

Lo and behold, 3 days after taking the Provera AF reared her ugly head once again on July 24.  I called the office and told them and they asked if I was sure it was a full bleed and not spotting. I told them I was spotting the day before, but this day I actually had to wear a pad.  So began my next cycle.  They asked me to come in the next day for my baseline US and blood work.  That day they also called in the script for Bravelle as I had told them that I was wanting to move forward with the injections for this cycle.

 

They ran my baseline and by the 25th I was starting injections!  At first I was doing 1 vial.  Then increased to 2 vials by the 2nd week, and a few days later I was on 3 vials.  Monitoring came every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and I was so stressed out with missing work every morning.  I finally had to tell my employers and ask them to change my schedule so that I started an hour later every morning.  I explained that I was doing fertility treatments and getting monitored every other day.  They were very understanding, however this did not make me feel any better since I don't like to inconvenience people, especially my bosses. 

 

August 2014

My last monitoring day was on August 8 and I got the good news that I could trigger that following evening!  I was soooo happy.  That means that I had mature follies waiting to be released.  On the 9th, Saturday, DH administered the trigger and then we were instructed to BD the next day and the day after that.  Because we were so intent on making this happen, we BDed that Sunday, two times on Monday and again on Tuesday.  We were in BD heaven!  Now we waited.  I was told to also start my progesterone on the 14th and come in for my first BETA on 8/25.  That day seemed soooo far away.  I cheated and tested that weekend after triggering and got a BFN.  Not too disappointing considering I knew implantation may not have even occurred.  The wait was sooo long and I told DH that we were definitely gonna test next weekend at home.  I HAD to know before I went to get my blood drawn.

 

That following week passed by uneventful.  I had very tender breasts, but had been like that since a couple of days after starting the Bravelle, so I didn't look much into that.  Last Friday came and the day couldn't pass by fast enough for me.  I tried to busy myself with work and running errands, but I was constantly thinking about testing the next day.  I ran out and got another box of pregnancy tests just to double check the digital ones I already had.  That evening I started having these cramp-like sensations yet they were a bit different from PMS cramps.  I was still hopeful, since I read that pregnancy signs are a lot like PMS.  I also had a decreased appetite, but I thought that may be because I was stressed about testing.

 

Finally the Saturday came when I had planned to test.  I got up at 7:30 am and was so nervous, I almost didn't catch my urine in the cup.  LOL.  I first pulled out a dollar pregnancy test and while still sitting on the toilet did my four drops into the sample well.  As I was washing my hands, I was telling myself not to look at the test... to wait for hubby, but I couldn't resist.  The allotted two minutes hadn't even passed so I thought, "It wouldn't be really cheating since I haven't given it enough time yet".  So I looked down.  Is that a faint second line I see?  I think so... Don't look too hard Mely, do a digital test and let hubby give the final answer.  Quickly I look away and dunked in the Clear Blue Digital test.  I see the timer start to blink so I'm good to go.  I run to the bed and start the timer for 2 minutes.  I know it's gonna be positive.  I know I didn't imagine that faint line on the dollar cheapie. 

 

1 minute passed...

 

I wake up DH.  "Baby, you ready to see the test?"  He stirs and I see that a minute and a half has passed.  I keep trying to wake him.  "Baby, the test is almost done, you ready?"  He slowly wakes up and my timer goes off.  I tell him I just tested and the 2 minutes have passed.  It's time to read it.  I get my phone ready to record his reaction.  He goes into the bathroom and looks down at the tests.  I have both the digital and the cheapie sitting on the countertop.  I see him looking back and forth between the two.  He's asking which one he's supposed to be reading.  I tell him either or, but probably the digital is easier to read.  He turns to look at me with a huge grin on his face and nods at me a few seconds then gives me the thumbs up.  I say, "Really, baby, really?  Is it real?  I wasn't sure."  "Yes, Yes" he's saying as he's nodding. He asked if I had seen it and I said not really that I had done the cheapie first and thought I saw a line but didn't want to look too closely.  I knew the digital one was more precise.  He brought me the stick and I stared at it...

 

PREGNANT

 

One beautiful, life changing word.  We are both grinning ear to ear.  Tears of joy in our eyes.  I don't want to scream because we have roomates and I didn't want them to know.  Just to be sure, I take one more test.  I picked up CVS early response tests.  I dunked the stick and watched it every second.  Within a minute the + sign was already showing!  I didn't even have to wait the whole 2 minutes!  I showed DH.  We were so happy.  3 tests, all very positive.  I can't even begin to explain how I felt.  It felt very unreal and dreamlike, that's for sure.  I must've looked at those tests a million times that day.

 

Our first thoughts were who were we going to tell.  I definitely wanted to tell my parents and he wanted to tell his mom.  I told him that next would be my sister in a few weeks, then close friends a few weeks after that.  Finally when we are through our first trimester we will announce on Facebook as well as telling our coworkers.

 

We went to breakfast then headed to my parents' house.  I said that we were in the area and decided to stop by to say hi.  I got my parents in the same room and asked my mom if she noticed "that spot" on my dad's leg.  She asked "What spot?" and bent down to look.  I pulled out my tests and held them in front of her.  "Did you notice this?" I asked holding them out.  She took them from me and looked at them.  She gasped in shock then started smiling and came to hug me.  My dad was still clueless.  I told her to show him and she handed him the digital one since it was easier to read.  He looked at it and smiled then suggested I take another to me sure.  My mom handed him the other one as I said "I already did.  I took three!"  He looked at it and came to hug me.  Then hugged DH and so did my mom.  We talked a little longer then headed to my MIL's house.

 

When we got there, her car wasn't there so DH called her on her cell.  She was out grocery shopping and he told her to hang on and not leave there as we were on our way.  He was so excited to tell her so he wasn't gonna let a little grocery shopping trip stand in the way.  LOL.  We drove to her neighborhood grocery store and found her standing at checkout.  She was with a family friend so I knew she wasn't gonna be the only one we were going to be telling the news to.  DH went up to her and gave her a hug and told her he wanted to show her something.  He handed her the 2 sticks and she looked at them.  The family friend "got it" before my MIL did and gasped and had this huge smile.  Then my MIL caught on and started smiling and thanking God and gave us both hugs.  We helped her check out and carry her groceries to her car.  She was giving me advice about being pregnant, but also warning me to not get too excited as it was still very early.  She said it was gonna be a boy because she felt it.  She was saying how she prayed she would be a grandmother before she died, as DH is an only child.  We talked a little longer before we left.  We were on cloud nine.

 

Now the real preparation begins.... what do we do now?