Week 14 - HELLO 2ND TRIMESTER!!!

LIFE IS GOOD!!!

I know it's been a long time since I last wrote.  About 8 weeks have zoomed by like nothing it seems.  Yes, the days seem to drag on and it seemed like I'd never get to the 2nd trimester, BUT THEN...
BADA-BING, BAD-BANG... Here we are at the start of my 14th week!  HOLY MOLY!!!

Reality still seems like a dream and at times I'm still in shock that I'm actually pregnant!  I know I feel pregnant, I see the ultrasounds, I hear the heartbeat... but it's still hard to believe.  I've dreamed of this so long, planned for this, and now my dreams are finally coming true.  I'm still awe struck.

So a lot has happened in these nearly past 2 months.  Good news, and then some not so good news.  First the not-so-good-news (I don't want to call it "bad news" because nothing is bad about being pregnant finally)...

• Well "Baby B" didn't make it.  :(  Baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and even though we got to see and hear his/her heartbeat twice, it was always slower than Baby A's.  By week 8, Baby B had not progressed past 6 and a half weeks.  It was sad, but bitter sweet as we saw Baby A was growing phenomenally.  By week 9, it was clear that Baby B would just be a memory in our dear hearts.  No heartbeat was found and the sac seemed to be getting smaller.  They call this phenomenon "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" (Disappearing Twin Sydrome), literally, one twin will for no apparent reason stop growing and will dissolve into the woman's body.  My doc (and from what I've researched) says it actually occurs more often than caught, but since it occurs at such an early stage in pregnancy, most women never know they had ever conceived twins because by the time they see their OB in their 10th week, the sac has disappeared.  I would have probably never known, had I not been monitored as closely and as early as they do with fertility specialists.  This will have no effect on Baby A whatsoever and I am expected to have a completely normal singleton pregnancy.  So while this is sad news, I was not devastated as something deep in my gut told me not to get my hopes up.  I tell ya... I've done a lot of research and I knew statistics on fertility treatments, multiple births, as well as the risk of things like this.  I was sad especially because Baby B's sac hung in there until the 12th week and it was a little disturbing to see it every time I'd go in to check on Baby A.  Either way, we will cherish the memory.
• Morning Sickness is no joke!  I have yet to have a week go by where I don't experience some kind of nausea.  Yes, it has gotten a lot better since my first trimester.  During which, I was sick every day- morning, night, and noon.  It was worse at night and hard to sleep and enjoy dinner.  It made some days a little hard to concentrate at work and some weekends were wasted sick in bed.  I'm thankful I have never gotten to the point of throwing up, but some days just wish I would so that maybe I could feel better.  Now that I'm in my second trimester, the nausea is still there but not nearly as bad.  Now it's usually worse after I eat, or when I'm really hungry.  I still haven't found a cure-all, but I did buy some SEABANDS which seem to help.
• Food Aversions:  Of all things... I completely hate vegetables.  C'mon you've got to be kidding me!  Something I'm supposed to be getting plenty of and now I can't stand the sight of much less the taste of.... how will I get proper nutrition?  I'm hoping my prenatal vitamins are helping to carry this load for me.  I try to cook them, steam them, grill them, dip them, mix them and no matter what, they make me nauseous, enough to ruin a meal for me.  I hope this doesn't last much longer.  I used to love veggie plates.
• And to make it worse.... I'm absolutely craving red, juicy, beefy, meat.  You know that stuff you're supposed to limit yourself to once or twice a week?  Nope, Baby wants the good stuff.  And forget chicken.... One of my all-time faves, go-to meals, Chik-Fil-A lovin'... nope... not satisfying enough.  At least it doesn't make me sick like the veggies do.  But I'll just pick at the chicken and never seemed to be satisfied with it.  But throw me a juicy steak, and I'm in heaven.  What a 360 degree turn around (I never used to be much of a red meat eater)!

Which brings me to the good news...

• Baby is growing like a weed!  Today baby is the size of a beet.  We still won't know the gender, but my intuition is telling me it's a boy because of all the red meat I'm craving.  LOL.
• We went in for our first trimester screening and baby is perfectly normal.  Plus we got to see 2 arms and 2 legs at the ultrasound! And baby is moving up a storm!
• Mom is doing great as well.  Got clearance on all my labwork and everything is looking good! Even despite the lack of veggies and the carnivorous appetite.

So what else have we been up to?  Well we officially graduated from our RE's office 2 weeks ago.  I was so sad to leave them.  They really took care of me and I was very fond of the doctor and staff.  I left them a thank you gift (fruit basket) and hugged them all at our last appointment.  Now that I'm part of the mainstream women at my OB's office, I feel like I'm just another number.  Our first appointment with my current OB was about 3 weeks ago.  Though she seemed nice, I just got a bad vibe off her.  She seemed really negative, and though I know she's just trying to be realistic and can be a bit blunt, I don't appreciate that kind of attitude with my first... long awaited... pregnancy journey.  And since we've decided to forfeit the birthing center option (more on that later), when I asked her opinion on natural birthing and doulas, she seemed to brush off the idea and stress her opinion on what's necessary for the health of the baby (yes, I know... that's my first priority too... duh!), so she kept saying the word C-section and I totally drowned her out.  Anyways, I decided to finish my pregnancy work up with her (labwork, genetic testing, etc) and now I'm in the process of switching doctors.

Back to our hospital birth decision.  So as you recall, there was a time when we thought we would be having twins.  So immediately to me, that threw out the idea of having a birthing center birth.  I figured the risks were too high and I didn't want to put us or our babies through that.  So naturally I started researching OB doctors.  I asked around and checked some reviews online.  I found one doc that I was really interested in, but when I called to make an appointment back in September, they said she had no availability until November!  So they suggested her associate... and that's how I got stuck with my current OB.  Now after we heard the news of Baby B, I considered switching back to a birth center, but my RE was adamant about getting an OB.  And then I started doubting myself.  All this we've been through, I didn't want to risk any chance of having anything go wrong.  So I made up my mind and stuck with the hospital birth.  I figure if all goes well with this delivery, I will choose a birth center for our next pregnancy.  Anywho, now I'm Gung Ho about making this hospital delivery experience as natural and beautiful as possible.  I'm insistent on hiring a doula, starting prenatal yoga, going to birthing classes, doing peritoneal massage, learning breathing techniques all so that I can make this as natural as possible.  I know I'm still gonna get an IV, and I know there's a chance I'll get scared into a C-section.  But I want to train my mind and my body that I can do this.

So we started interviewing doulas.  The first doula we met with seemed really good and she has a lot of experience.  I probably would've hired her on the spot if I weren't told to interview at least 3 doulas before making a decision.  So now I'm going to research and find two more to interview.  This weekend I am going with a friend to do prenatal yoga (yoga newbie here).

And speaking of... I know quite a few ladies with EDD around my date.  It must've been one hot and steamy summer... LOL.  Speaking of one in particular... one of my very good friends is about 1 week later than me!  I was so excited for the both of us as this will be our firsts!  It's so fun to have someone who is like a sister going through the same thing as you.  I can't wait to share our bonding experience together.  She's gonna be my bump buddy and yoga partner.

I plan on getting a 3D/4D US sometime in November, since I can't wait until Dec 15th for my scheduled anatomy/gender scan.  We're too impatient.  We want to know Baby Frijole's gender like yesterday!

By the way, we finally revealed to the world we are expecting.  Here are our photo reveals:

Ok, I'm tired of typing I'll leave you with a pic of baby Frijole.  Until next time...

A Change is Gonna Come - Weeks 4-5

BETA #1 (8/25/2014) -  219
BETA #2 (8/27/2014) - 605
BETA #3 (8/29/14) - 1258

It's official!  We're pregnant!  I still can't believe it!

I tested another 2 times before the first BETA testing day came.  Then a couple of more times after that.  I was so paranoid.  I sent DH out to the dollar store to pick me up a few HPTs so that I could keep testing.  Finally after BETA#2 came back more than doubled, that eased my mind and I stopped POAS.  I was a little relieved.  Then my BETA#3 couldn't come soon enough and seemed like it took FOREVER for the clinic to update my results.  Everything is looking so good.  Our BETA #4 and first pregnancy ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday the 3rd.  I can't wait!  DH will go with me. We will get to see the first picture of our little Frijole!

Symptoms Week 4-5: 
I am still unsure of how far along I am.  My pregnancy apps are calculating from my LMP (5 wks), but I know I ovulated late, so I adjusted it to when I think I ovulated and so it puts it back a few days (4.5 wks).  I'm looking forward to Wednesday so they can better calculate my EDD based on baby's measurements.  As for symptoms, I'm still having the twinges of pain/cramp-like sensations every once in awhile, but not as often as the first few days.  My breasts are still really tender to the point where it hurts to even wear a shirt sometimes.  I've noticed that they are changing too.  They are getting darker and my nipples are getting bigger.  I told this to DH and he looked at them and said he doesn't notice anything.  No real cravings yet, although I seem to be liking spicy, hot foods a lot more lately.  I have always liked spicy foods, but it seems l am adding hot sauce to a lot more things now.  Also my sense of smell seems more sensitive.  I am still on the progesterone which will probably continue through my first trimester.  DH took my first pregnancy photo today.  I'm a mess, but I couldn't care less... there's a baby growing in me!  As you can see, not much has changed.  I'm a big girl mind you, so most of what you see is me in all my natural glory,  LOL.

 

 

I've been doing a lot of research and reading.  It's so fun and interesting.  So far I've been reading.  "The Day-By-Day Pregnancy Book",  "How to Exercise When You're Expecting", "Your Pregnancy Week By Week", and "What to Expect the First Year".

 

 

 

I'm learning a lot of new things about not only pregnancy and how my body will be changing, but about what to expect for the future and how to take care of myself and baby.

 

I've also started looking into birthing centers, which if you recall from my earlier blogging, is where I would like to labor and deliver baby.  So far, I'm leaning more towards a birth center not too far from where I live.  I called them a couple of days ago to ask how soon I should come in for my first visit since I just found out I'm pregnant.  They said as soon as I can.  I told them I would schedule an appointment as soon as my RE released me from his care.  I explained that I had fertility treatments.

 

I am also looking forward to my local Birth Fair, which is a small convention/symposium catered to Natural Baby care (i.e. cloth diapering, baby wearing, birth centers, holistic therapy, breastfeeding, etc.)  It will be in early October.

 

The other day I had DH bring in and dust off the boxes of pre-baby buys I had stored away.  I remember how sad a day it was when I packed up everything for storage.  It was such a sweet, sweet feeling having him bring it in and opening it up again.   I've also started working on a baby/registry list.  I'm a planner and I'm OCD when it comes to making lists, just ask DH.  So I've done some research online and on community message boards so that I know what to expect when baby comes home.  We have a few things already from my pre-baby buying a few years ago and I started an Amazon Baby Registry back then which I've slowly added to over the years.  I still keep up with my YouTube Vloggers, and some of them have had babies, so whenever they would recommend a product, I'd add it to our registry.

 

Hubby and I have already discussed wanting to know the gender of baby Frijole.  We want to know as soon as possible so that we can start planning buys and decorating the nursery.  Plus we still have the name thing to figure out.  Even before getting KU, we had pretty much decided on a boy's name but even now, we are still undecided on a girl's name.  And for some reason, both of our mom want a  boy.  DH and I would be happy either way.  We also decided we would be doing a 4D US as soon as we're allowed.  I already know of a few places, and Groupon offers some great deals as well.

 

I am invited to one of my BFF's friend's daughter's 1st birthday next weekend, which will be out of town.  I am thinking of sharing the news with her then.  Plus, I also lent her a bassinet when she first found out she was pregnant, so I'm hoping I can bring it back with me. 

 

So I think I will let my sister know this Friday about our good news.  Our relationship has been kind of strained recently with all that's been going on in my family.  But I hope she can put that aside and be happy for us.  I want her to know she will know before any of my friends.

 

So now to enjoy the rest of our Labor Day weekend....



The Room

As infertiles, thoughts of babies can sometimes consume us.  I have been one of the more hopeful ones that has taken my imagination to another level.  Some of us dream of having a nursery one day and even go as far as moving forward with the hopes that a baby will be on board in the near future.  To add to that, I haven't made it a secret, that I've been stocking up on pre-conception baby buys.  I KNOW I'm not alone, as I have bonded with other gals for this very same reason.  It is without doubt that my  imagination has been filled with thoughts of one day having a baby to go with that nursery.

Right now, our "nursery" serves as a junk/storage room.  I will quote one of my fellow TTC bloggers, Liz, from Wishing on a Snowflake.  "Many infertiles have a junk room just like this. It's the room that is the would-be nursery, but ends up being a messy, cluttered, and out-of-control physical representation of their lives. It's a painful reminder of what they don't have, and may never have. It's limbo."  So you can only imagine how this makes me feel everytime I step into The Room. Hopefully that will all change with this new chapter of our lives.  As I had mentioned in a previous post, DH and I were considering hosting a foreign exchange student this coming school year.  Well after discussion, we have decided to move forward with the process and have already passed the first stage... background checks.  We got the word that we have now been accepted into the program and are in the student selection process.  Because we feel that we will be such AWESOME parents one day, we both decided that we would like to host TWO students!  I can't describe how undeniable my maternal instinct is right now.  It's on overdrive!  LOL.  So we talked about it and we are planning on hosting two girls.  I have two nieces that will be around the same age, so I think having female students will be nice.  They will both be high schoolers.

So with that, today will be spent cleaning and getting our house ready. I know that doesn't sound very exciting at face value, but it actually is. Because today marks the start of moving away from the dreadfulness of that room.  Some time ago I wanted to paint The Room, so had to move all the junk that was stored in it into our guest room. Well, after finding out about that failed cycle, I quit mid-paint project and now we literally have a half painted empty junk room (metaphor for my uterus.... perhaps, hahaha) and a junky guest bedroom (my ovaries?  bwahaha). I wasn't  motivated enough to finish or organize either.  But that is changing today.  We now will convert The Room into a study/home gym.  The girls will be sharing the guest bedroom, and we will put two desks, a computer and workout equipment into the newly defined extra room.  That means packing up and storing all of our baby stuff.  It's kind of a bittersweet feeling, but I'm super excited to make the changes.  This is very symbolic, it means I'm ready to move forward and stop obsessing about TTC.  I'm hoping that by hosting the girls this year, it will help soothe some of those maternal cravings.  I can "RELAX" (sarcastically speaking), like so many of the unsolicited advise people say.  Of course this doesn't mean we are going to stop trying, and I don't know if we ever will.  But I AM GOING TO FINISH painting that room and until we do become pregnant, I can put it to good use.

Finally, the pain can slowly subside....

CD 21 & Hubby Love

Well it seems as if the trigger is finally coming out of my system... I did an OPK yesterday and today and they were both negative. I've been doing pretty good lately, although these past two days I've been dealing with allergies and loose stools (TMI, sorry). I'm not reading too much into that, however. I've also been surprisingly calm these last few days, like no worries. What a nice change of pace. :) I woke up from a late nap a few hours ago, and I feel a little feverish, though my temp is normal. I hope I'm not coming down with anything. I made a promise to myself not to consume any alcohol while in this 2WW (if I can even call it that, since my chart still has no spike), but funny how I've been craving coffee recently. I've had it pretty much every day this week. I told hubby how ironic that I've sworn off alcohol, yet I'm still drinking coffee. I'm going to try and stop that too. (But this cold weather makes me want to enjoy a nice hot cup.) I haven't had any today, YAY! I am excited that next week I will be able to test. I am counting down the days.

In other news, DH has been seriously stressing about our future. I have to admit, we have had to deal with alot on our plate recently. But it's weird because it's usually me that's stressed out and here I am trying to reassure hubby that all is going to be okay. He started his spring semester in school this week and he's taking three classes plus working full time. Also, I still haven't found steady work. I mean, I've picked up two extra days of PT work, but we are still trying to recover, financially, from my recent lay-off. And now, we just found out that our house needs a little work on it too. Plus on top of everything we are dealing with IF. After his first two days of class, he came home pretty overwhelmed with all the expectations of his courses. I told him that now that I have more time on my hands I can help him out. After all, I've been in school pretty much most of my life, so I know what and what not to do. I don't like seeing him stressed like this, especially when I'm trying to be positive and optimistic about this cycle. But I think with the pressure of perhaps bringing a baby into the picture he feels very overwhelmed. I understand it's a lot to deal with at one time, but like I explained to hubby, we just need to take one thing at a time. I used a metaphor with him last night when trying to explain things. I said...

It's like putting mayo in your sandwich... If you scoop a spoonful of mayo and plop it on a slice of bread, you're not expected to eat it like that. Yes, of course it seems like alot... but that's if your planning on biting into it like that. And who would do that, certainly not you and me. You have to spread it out the bread slice. Right? That way what seemed like alot at first is now spread out evenly in each bite. I told him that's how we have to approach our issues right now. Yes, we've had a lot to deal with in these past few weeks, but you'd be insane to try and tackle it all at once. You need to deal with these things slowly and with care, making sure to spread it out over time. Yes, I'm not making nearly as much money as I was with my FT job, but I'm still working... I'm still bringing in money. I've got three jobs. I work 3 days a week and I just found out I may be picking up another job (more about that later). Yes, your classes may seem hard at first, but remember, you have your weekends free to study. Plus I will help you out. I'm a pro at these classes. They are what I live through everyday (he's taking Human Anatomy & Physiology and Medical Terminology), I can help you with studying. I can make it seem less difficult. Work, unfortunately can't change. Yes, they are stressing you out over there. But you are only human, you can't be expected to do EVERYTHING. I know you usually try to and that's what makes you such a good, hard working man. But remember, you are not dedicated to this place and you may be soon leaving in a few months if our plans stay on track. Just grin and bear it. Sometimes that's all you can do. The house needs a little work, yes, but we can tackle that gradually. It doesn't all need to be fixed in one day. Slow and steady wins the race. And finally IF... who knows if this cycle will be successful. Yes, this is the farthest we've come and yes, there is chance this may finally be the start of a new chapter. But again it's one day at a time. Babies early on don't require alot of spending. Thank goodness we've decided to cloth diaper and we've already purchased a bassinett. I'm an avid supporter of breastfeeding for the first year, and hopefully I won't have any problems with it. That also will save us money. We both have very supportive families and if it ever comes down to it, I'm sure they can lend a helping hand if need be. I somehow have this feeling that things will turn out okay. I think that's why I've been so calm lately. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones, who knows! (Wishful thinking) But we are here and surviving just fine. Carpe diem. Tomorrow will bring different opportunities, so you just have to take it one day at a time. Times like this will only strengthen our bond and bring us closer together. I love you forever and always.

Trigger Day!

So today is CD 14 and I'm scheduled for my follicle search and HCG injection this afternoon.  I'm super excited and nervous at the same time.

As for what's gone on the rest of this past week, my previous post said that I was anticipating a more positive OPK result on my next strip.  Didn't happen :(  So far everything has tested negative.  So on my FF chart I put the CD10 OPK as positive and hoping that either I ovulated that day (or in the 12 hrs following) or that I have yet to ovulate and the HCG will trigger O.  So far CD10 has been the most "positive" OPK I've had yet.  According to some users on thebump.com, meds will affect your temps and this may be why my temps have been zig-zaggy and all over the place (of course this is no different than before I started taking meds).  I will definately ask the doctor/tech whether they can tell if I ovulated or not. I'm keeping my FX that my follies will be big enough to trigger today.

On another note, I've started painting the nursery.  I have finished painting the trimming white and perhaps this weekend will start on the rest of the wall.  I'm painting it a pale yellow.  I also purchased my first set of brand new cloth diapers.  I found a website called diapersafari.com and they provide free shipping so I decided to buy some sale items.  I will get them in about a week.

Another thing that happenend this weekend, I was around two PG ladies at the same time. So I'm hoping I hijacked some of the PG hormones.  LOL.  I did the old trick of rubbing their bellies hoping that maybe it's contagious too.  Hahaha.

Anyways, will update on my appt. later.

AF marks CD1

Well today is official CD1!  I couldn't be more excited!  Yes, I know it means that I'm not pregnant, however, it also means that I can finally start my fertility treatment.  My nurse told me to schedule a cervical dilation once my cycle starts and this morning I called for an appointment.  I made it for Friday which is in three days.  In the meantime, I've still been temping and taking my prenatal vitamins, metformin, and dostinex.  Thursday I will start Serophene (clomid) which will be CD3!  I'm super excited about that too!  I will take it consecutively for five days then starting on CD16 I will start the prometrium (progesterone supplement).  Also starting on day 10 we will BD, which I'm sure hubby will be happy about :)  I'm hoping for a little surprise at the end of this month or something really big to celebrate the new year!  I think Christmas will be a little too early to tell anything.

Also, I decorated our Christmas tree last night.  We still have the same blue and silver decorations.  I've decided to start adding a new Christmas tree ornament each year to commemorate something big that's happened that year.  We didn't add anything last year, so this year I'm buying two ornaments.  One for last year and one for this year.  For last year's ornament, I chose a white birdhouse ornament with two birds.  It says "New Home".  I bought it on ebay for $5.  It says 2010, but I will try and change it to 2011.  For this year's ornament, I chose a blue light-up Houston Texans ornament (also bought on ebay).  We really haven't done much this year, other than me getting re-hired and JC going to school, but I figured with the Texans cinching the lead in the playoffs this year with current stats at 11-1, I would support my team and buy an ornament in their honor.  When JC graduates school we can get an ornament to commemorate it which will be in 2014.  And hopefully on next year's Christmas tree, we will have an ornament saying "Baby's First Christmas"!  I'm sooooo excited!

I've also been doing a little splurging and induging in my guilty pleasures.  I've been making some pre-baby buys.  Most recently taking advantage of After Thanksgiving and Cyber Monday deals.  So far I've purchased a bassinet/playpen/changing station baby center, a walker, and a Boppy with slipcover.  Another thing I've been scouting are cloth diapers.  I've been looking at various reviews and tutorials on youtube and alot of users recommend purchasing a few different brands/styles to see which work best for you.  So far I'm leaning more towards prefolds/inserts and all in ones.  I have a few that I'm tempted to purchase already.  Hubby knows this and is trying to get me to go easy.  Damn my compulsive shopping.  LOL.  I may be jumping to soon in buying everything, but with this new burst of renewed positivity and optimism, I'm looking forward to starting on the nursery and baby buying.  I don't want to leave things to the last minute.  And speaking of the nursery,  I've already purchased wall paint in a pale yellow (straw) that I will be using on the walls.  I will paint the trim and shelving white.  It is gender neutral so it won't matter on the sex of the baby.  Also still undecided what theme to run with.  I love the jungle/monkey theme, but I think it may be to boyish, and therefore still contemplating the circus theme.  We shall see.... Also working on redecorating the rest of the house so that it has our personality infused in it.  It still has paint from the previous owner that I despise... ugh.... pink everywhere.  I've done some inspiration boards on pinterest as I brainstorm ideas.

Well that's about it.  I will update on testing and my cycle when things change.  Keeping fingers crossed!

Baby Itch!

I'm totally feeling the baby itch nowadays, and yesterday it was pretty strong.  I was thinking about getting started on the nursery.  Thinking about what colors I want to paint it and what style(s) I want to go with.  Since obviously I'm not pregnant yet, I don't know what the sex of the baby will be, so it will be something gender neutral.  I started to Google nursery ideas and saw some pretty cute ideas for the nursery.  I also made a purchase online for our future baby.  Over the past year I've made a couple of "baby buys".  So far I have a Texans infant girl outfit (only $5 at Target on Clearance... can't go wrong) and an elephant hand puppet.  Yesterday I bought a musical bear on Ebay.  It's used, but when I came across it, it was something I just had to get.  It was super cute.  Here's a picture of it:

So cute, right? Anyways, while browsing I came across some youtube videos about cloth diapering and I am seriously considering doing this with the baby.  There are several brands of diapers and different ways of doing it.  I will probably buy one of several brands to try them all out, but I think so far, based on what I've seen, the prefold diapers will work best for me.  There's a great set of videos on youtube where she goes over the basics of cloth diapering.  It's called Cloth Diapering 101.

After all that... I was still fienin' for baby stuff, so I jumped the gun and started a baby registry on Amazon.  I know, I know... I'm kinda going overboard on everything.  But I've got the itch pretty bad.  Today is a little better, so I'm trying to occupy my mind with other things.

Anyways that's all for today.  I kind of like the carnival/circus theme, since I have a vintage carousel horse that I've had since childhood and I'd like to incorporate it into the nursery theme somehow.  Here are a few pics I dowloaded for nursery ideas.