Glad to Be Back! BEDA #1

Wow!  It's been a while since my last post.  Over two months.  This is gonna be a long update.  But that's a good thing since I'm thinking of doing BEDA this year.  BEDA stands for Blog Every Day in August.  I got the idea from fellow YouTubers who do VEDA, and since I stopped posting videos, I decided why not do BEDA instead?  I'm a day late, but I think tonight's blog entry will make up for yesterday as well.  So here goes...

We've had quite a change in pace over the past 2 months here at home.  Though there has been a couple of obstacles to get around, most of the change has been for the better.  We are now well acquainted with our foreign exchange students.  We've been in communication with them regularly over the last month and a half and it's so exciting learning more and more about them.  They are both happily anticipating their visit here with us and already we've made huge plans in traveling and showing them what we like.  The list that I mentioned in my past blog has gotten even longer in length.  There's over 100 things that I've listed that I can't wait to show them.  Granted we probably won't be able to do all of it, but I'm hoping we can do most of it.  The girls will be coming in a few weeks, and though we are not quite ready for them yet (still working on getting them registered for school... still need to do some major cleaning around the house), we are almost there.  I keep procrastinating and putting off the cleaning for the weekends, but those "cleaning weekends" never seem to hash out.  We've always got something else better to do... lol.  Anyways, that's about the only thing I'm worried about.  Keeping my fingers crossed that we can make some progress on the cleaning this weekend, even though we've already got plans for the evening.

So just to share a little more information about our girls.  G, as you recall, is from Thailand.  She's the one we've been in contact with the longest (and probably the most "like" us).  She's kind of shy and timid, but she's super cute.  She's this tiny little thing, probably not even 5 foot tall, and under 100 lbs.  So cute, you just want to put her in your pocket.  She's still working on getting better at English, and she's a bit nervous about being able to communicate well with us and her fellow peers.  She's still attending school in Thailand and actually just completed her midterm exams.  She's also really involved in her cultural exchange organization that she participates in outside of school.  Unlike the U.S., in Thailand, school is strictly for educational subject classes like math, reading, history, government, language studies, etc.  Any sports or clubs that students wish to participate in, they have to do on their own time away from school.  G likes being in her cultural exchange program.  Already, she has spent a summer in New Zealand as a member of the organization.  They also recently had their annual prom, in which they got to celebrate and spend one more evening with their friends of the organization, before packing up and jetting off to their respective countries for the foreign exchange program.  G tells me that she has 3 more friends coming to the U.S., though none set for Texas.  She is super excited about coming here to Texas, as she has seen lots of pictures of the landscape, seen it portrayed in movies, and read about all the wonderful things to do while here in our city.  One of things she tells me she's most excited about is going horseback riding.  She's been once before in New Zealand and she really enjoyed it.  She's also excited to meet new friends, though she admits she's a little shy and quiet at first.  She's kind of glad M will also be staying with us, as it gives her an opportunity to make a friend before school starts.  She's also looking forward to getting involved with school sports, primarily swimming and perhaps cheerleading.  She wants to take Spanish class so that she can learn the language.  It's something she's been interested in for a while.  She enjoys the same music as me (in regards to American pop music) and said she's eager to learn how to dance.  I told her I like dancing all kinds of music, so she's excited for me to teach her a few things.  I told her I would like to learn how to cook Thai food and she eagerly offered to teach me.  Though she doesn't cook very much at home in Thailand, she has picked up a few things from her mother.  She's very eager to learn and experience as much as she can here with us and every time we email each other, she gives me a countdown as to when she arrives.

M is our other student.  She is from Germany.  She's very different from G, though I think that will only give them more to talk about when they are together.  She's a little more versed in travel and new experiences.  She loves the study of language and is also pretty fluent in Spanish.  She tells me she also has plans to learn French and Madarin Chinese.  Wow, how motivated she is!  She is also very involved in tennis in her homeland.  She competes in regular tournaments and hoping she can continue the sport while staying here with us.  We found out the high school does have a tennis team so hopefully she will be able to participate in that.  She also has an interest in cheerleading.  She seems a little more social and outspoken, though we've only communicated via email.  She spent the summer in Spain and actually just got back home this week.  Plus her birthday was a couple of days ago, so it's one thing after another and she seems to stay pretty busy.  Though we haven't had as much communication with her as we have with G, she does respond pretty thoroughly in her emails.  Her English writing is very good.  She also seems to enjoy the same kind of music as I do (we have some of the same favorite music artists).  She tells me she is looking forward to learning about the American culture.  She wants to be involved in foreign languages when she grows up, so she is hoping to also master the English language while staying here.  She tells me she's not much of a cook, but does enjoy her German food so she's eager to try the local German restaurant that I mentioned earlier.  She's not into spicy food much so I don't know how she'll handle Mexican and Thai food.  We shall see.  I told her about our local German festival and Oktoberfest and she says she's super excited to check it out.   One of things she tells me she's most excited about is going shopping.  What teenage girl isn't?  She tells me that she's heard that name brands (especially her favorites, Hollister and Ambercrombie) are pretty affordable here in the states, while in Germany it's really expensive.  She doesn't seem to be nervous at all about coming here to the U.S.  I asked her if she has ever traveled here and she said a couple of times to Ohio, where she has some distant relatives.  As much as she has traveled and studied Spanish, maybe I can learn a thing or two from her.

So those are our 2 students.  M just turned 17 and G is 16 and a half.  I'm still not sure what grades they'll be in since we still need to get them registered.  But like I said earlier, we already have so much planned for them.  I wanted to do something big for either the winter holiday break or spring break and since hubby is pretty much guaranteed mandatory overtime during December, I figured we could hold off until the spring break holiday.  So what I've started working on is planning a trip to Disney World!  I asked the girls first whether their parents would allow them to travel to Florida and whether they'd be able to afford their expenses for the trip.  They both discussed it with their family and happily agreed upon the trip.  They are both very excited to get to experience Disney since they haven't ever visited any of the theme parks around the world.  But of course what kid wouldn't be excited?!  Hubby and I are excited ourselves as we've never experienced it either.  So that is the big thing we have planned in March.  Another thing that hubby and I are planning is a Welcome to America party for the girls.  Just something to introduce them to other kids and some of our family and close friends.  We are trying to keep it as small as possible, but hubby and I love to throw parties, especially one that has music and barbeque.  And finally, and this came up just recently, we decided to invite them to UFC #166 when it comes to our city in October.  We weren't sure if they'd want to go, especially having never seen it and the tickets being so expensive.  But running it by their parents, they were ready to jump in for the experience.  So happy to say, we bought 4 tickets for the upcoming fights and can't wait to share our love of the sport with them.

And now moving on to less interesting news... As far as a TTC update, there's really nothing to report on.  It's on the back burner and not a priority in our life right now (something I thought I'd never hear myself say).  I don't want to say I've given up on it, but I've pretty much come to the realization that I'm not going to be a mom unless we adopt or until I can get pregnant.  And the getting pregnant thing won't be happening anytime soon.  We've both basically have an understanding that unless we have some serious medical intervention (i.e. IVF) that it won't be happening naturally.  It's the reality of the situation and right now I'm ok with that.  I can't say that I won't ever try other means again, but my body is so screwed up right now, that mother nature has pretty much crossed me off her list.  Yeah it sucks, but hey... shit happens.  And when I say screwed up I mean not only that I haven't had my period in almost 5 months (today is CD 141), but I've put on a few more pounds, and I haven't seen a doctor since we last tried with HCG in January.  And no, I'm not pregnant.  I take a HPT every first of the month to make sure I don't wind up on that show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant".  Yesterday's test, just as expected came out with a BFN.  No surprise there... and it didn't even phase me.

As for the weight thing, yes I know, I know.  I can't believe I gained weight either.  I was a little depressed as the whole TTC came to a startling halt.  That probably contributed to it.  But mainly I blame it on letting go.  Since letting go of the whole TTC journey, I kinda was like "F- it!"  Before I was trying to lose the weight for babymaking, but since that's not gonna happen I decided to enjoy life.  Now that I have steady work and the paychecks are coming in regularly, hubby and I have been taking advantage and enjoying going to eat out.  We've both actually started to gain weight.  And then because I started working so much, I was skipping the gym.  And then I get home and I'm super tired and just want to lounge around the house.  It's a never ending cycle and I do want to get back on track especially with the girls coming.  I hate to validate the stereotype of fat and lazy Americans.  (I did some research on culture shock and one of the common first impressions from foreign exchange students are that Americans are fat and lazy.... boooooo)  Plus my girls seem really energetic and active and I want to be able to keep up with them.  I hope they will be able to motivate me.  Maybe I can get them on a student/child membership at the gym.  We'll see.

Finally, I just wanted to mention that this is the year for baby showers.  I told my mom the other day that I'm at that stage in life where everyone my age is getting pregnant.  It's kind of weird, kind of eerie, but I'm so thankful that I've put my TTC days behind me, because this year would suck royally had I still been TTC and not pregnant by now.  I finally re-activated my FB account, primarily to keep in touch with the girls (imagine life without social networking, how would we ever be in touch?  I mean who writes letters nowadays?... lol... that's sarcasm) and now that I'm back online and in full force, there are friends and family members announcing pregnancies and births left and right!  I'm thankful I have a job to afford all these gifts I'm buying.  I swear like every month I find out someone new is pregnant.  Happy for them, of course, but reminds me more and more that I'm not the one announcing it.  Not saying that in a bad way, just that these were some of the people asking me 3 years ago "So when are you gonna have kids?"  I guess time flies when you're having fun.

Well that's about all I gotta say for today.  Tomorrow is another day and I gotta think about what I want to write about.  So see you then.

Updates

So it's been a while since I last posted and some things have changed since then.  I fell off the wagon a couple of months ago.  And gained back nearly every pound I had lost.  I also got a new job.  I got re-hired with the company that laid me off last year and started at the beginning of May.  Since then, my health insurance has been reinstated so now I have medical coverage.  First thing on the list?.... Go for a full workup with a OB/Gyn.  I found a group in Houston when I was researching infertility.  It's called Women's Health Care Center of Houston and they have several locations around the Houston area.  I made an appointment with one of the nurse practitioners there, Mary Helen and first saw her about 3 weeks ago.  I was going there with the impression that I had developed PCOS and thereby making us infertile.  At my last Well-Woman exam, the midwife there suggested that I look into getting a workup done to get that checked out.  Since then, I've done some research on what it is, how it's managed, and how I can overcome infertility.  I was almost positive that this is what I had since I had all the signs and symptoms of it.  My intent in going to the clinic earlier this month was to get that diagnosed and treated.  During my consult, Mary Helen discussed with me the importance of losing weight in order to get all these problems under control; a lecture, I've heard many a times and knew inside and out.  I told her about my lack of success of losing weight and the yo-yo dieting I've gone through throughout the years; again, being fully aware that this is something she's heard time and time again.  Still got the lecture and details of what my diet and excercise should consist of... blah, blah, blah.  I know this all too well... after all, I have had success losing weight, it's just that keeping it off and lack of motivation are what the problems are.  Either way, she sent me off with a long list of blood work to be done and an appointment with the ultrasound tech to have my ovaries and uterus looked at.  I had my blood drawn a few days later and a week after that (yesterday), I had my ultrasound which was a bit uncomfortable.  I guess it's what to expect when you have a long probe sticking into your girly bits and moving around down there, all the while having to push down on your ovaries, can give anyone discomfort.

Anyhow, today was my follow-up with Mary Helen and JC was there to join me this time.  Turns out that I DO NOT have PCOS, but I still have issues with my hormone levels.  She had diagnosed me with 1)Hypothyroidism 2)Borderline Diabetic 3) Hyperprolactinemia 4)Excessive testosterone production and 5)Mild fatty liver.  What does this all mean?  Basically, since my hormones are all out of whack, I am unable to ovulate, therefore I don't have regular menstrual cycles.  This mostly is due to my thyroid not producing enough hormones to stimulate my pituitary gland into regulating everything else.  Therefore my body produces more prolactin and testosterone (also hormones).  And all these contribute to the signs and symptoms I had originally thought were caused by PCOS (obesity, facial hair, acne, irritability, amenorrhea/oligomemorrhea, food cravings, dark skin patches, low energy, and infertility).  I asked her if these were all caused from me being obese and she said it could be possibly both obesity and genetics.  Either way, losing weight is still gonna have to be my main goal, since weigh loss can decrease all these problems.  Understood.  So she is putting me on 3 medications to control these hormones and according to her in about 2-4 weeks my hormones should level out to produce regular menstrual cycles.  Then in about 3 months (hopefully!), AND THIS IS THE BEST NEWS... I may be able to get pregnant!!!  JC and I are soooooooo excited!  That's the best thing I've heard in a long, long, time.  It gives me renewed hope!  I can't wait!  She said once AF comes, I should have my labs re-drawn to see what my levels look like, so she gave me the lab slip for when that time comes around.  Also, she gave us a referral to a fertility clinic to have hubby's sperm analyzed so that we can have all our bases covered.  I'm not really worried about that, since I'm pretty sure that it's all me... but you never know.  Hubby is game for anything and being really supportive during this time.

Speaking of which, we've both been eating better and managing our food intake.  I'm still using Spark People and have even started using their menu plans (although there's been some hits and misses).  Also, I joined Curves gym on a free 30-day trial run.  My thoughts so far is that this is not gonna be for me.  Though I enjoy the small gym and circuit rotations, the setting is a bit to intimate for me.  There's only a few women who are there at a time and with the exercise coach there in full view, she gives you a lot of focus and attention; something that makes me a bit uncomfortable.  I also went to me very first Zumba class last nigh, and I LOVED it!  I may have a bit of social anxiety, but I like the idea of disappearing in the crowd.  With everyone around you dancing and sweating and no one there you know, I don't feel like I'm being judged and I can just blend into to background of people.  I worked up quite a sweat and it felt good!  Best of all, it's free!  I think this will be my weapon of choice... Zumba here I come!  Also, I'm thinking of bringing my nieces along for the experience.  I think it's something they would enjoy too... and also trying to still get my sis to tag along.

So that's all for now.  Last week's weigh in I was down 6 pounds!  So keep it up Mely!!!

9 DPO

So this may be the one!  Today marks my 9th day post ovulation (DPO) and I'm just waiting to test.

To give a little background on myself:
I had been on oral contraceptives for a few years.  I first started using them in my early 20's as a means of regulating my menstrual cycles.  I went off them for about 3 years, and when I still continued having irregular cycles, I went back on them until about a year ago.   I decided I should go off the pill so as to prepare my body for when we try to conceive. About a month after our wedding last October, JC and I decided that if it happens, it happens, so we stopped using birth control.  My body had gone back to irregular cycles, so there were times when we weren't sure if I was pregnant or not.  After a few weeks of negative home pregnancy tests (HPTs), I decided to go see my doctor.  She ordered a lab workup, and it all came out clear.  So I could only attribute my irregularity to my obesity, which is something I've always been warned about.  It is known that obese women have trouble getting pregnant and risk dangers while pregnant.  I have tried a few times to lose weight but have been unsuccessful.  Because of this, I knew we would have a long and difficult journey ahead of us.

Now that we are sitting at nearly a year after all this, JC and I are really concerned about be not being able to get knocked up.  We've recently decided that we will start trying to conceive (TTC).  And so that meant me going back to the doctor to get another check up.  I went to this women's health and birth center in Pearland that my good friend Tanya recommended to me awhile back.  I am hoping for a natural birth, so I figured that I would start seeing the midwife here for general checkups and exams so that when our time came, we would already have that relationship established.  So about 2 months ago I went in for a pre-conception consult.  We went over my medical/family history and she ran some bloodwork on me.  Again all came out well.  She suggested I try some natural progesterone hormone cream to help regulate my cycles.  Use it twice a day for 21 days then stop for 7 days and repeat.  Simple enough right?  Well I started it that evening and 12 days after starting, Aunt Flo (AF) came for a visit.  I called the midwife to see if I should continued to use it till day 28, but she didn't return my phone calls for 2 days.  So I looked online and saw that once you start your period, your supposed to wait 12 days until after you stop, to go back to using it.  So I did this.  In the meantime, I've been recording my basal body temperature (BBT) every morning and monitoring my cervical mucus (CM)... both of which are very important if you are seriously TTC.  I use a program on Fertility Friend that helps monitor things while you are TTC.  This past month I presented with some fertile CM and took advantage of it.  So far my chart shows that I definately ovulated on September 26, which made our intercourse timing good!  As predicted, my temperatures have stayed elevated for 8 days since and these are all good signs.  Before, I had erratic and annovulatory charts.  I am still on the progesterone cream and just awaiting October 14th, when I can finally test!  (That is if that nagging AF doesn't come for a visit first.)

Another thing that I've noticed are several symptoms that have started more recently, including headaches, heartburn, bachaches, low energy, and gas.  These are all things that need to be recorded as you TTC.  Recently we've also been under alot of stress with trying to buy a house and that doesn't help: 1.) me trying to get pregnant and 2.) some of these symptoms can go hand in hand w/ stress.  So now with a combination of stress and perhaps even "psyching" myself out I'm experiencing all these symptoms that I normally wouldn't.  So you can see why I'm anticipating the day when I can test. I am staying positive that all these signs could mean one thing, but also not trying to keep my hopes up high... just in case.  But for some reason, I'm still leaning more towards the hopeful side and can't help but think.... THIS IS THE ONE :)  So until then...