CD 6 and Another Busy Weekend

Yes, you read right.  It's CD 6 for me and that's kind of bittersweet.  It's been two months since I've been off of fertility meds and one month since I've been doing acupuncture and taking Vitex.  So that means AF come all on her own.  Like I said, bittersweet.  Either way, I'm still excited that things have seemed to regulate.  I'm hoping it will stay like this for a while.  I still have yet to ovulate and since being off the meds these two cycles I've had since then, I still have had no clear ovulation pattern.  BOOOO :(  Then, about a week and a half ago, I called to refill my thyroid meds, metformin and dostinex (all meds my doc put me on while TTC).  Turns out they couldn't refill two of them because I'm due for my yearly check up (well woman exam).  I still have no insurance since getting laid off in December so this was a bummer.  I had been paying cash for my meds since January and it was burning a hole in my pocket.  Now adding the expenses of a well woman exam and labwork and I just thought "Nevermind".  I'm hoping this new natural treatment will work.  The 3rd med, dostinex, that my doc prescribed for my elevated levels of prolactin costs $146 for 4 pills!  I was like, "No thanks, put it back on the shelf."  So now I'm completely out of ALL my meds and going AU NATURAL, so to speak.  LOL.  I still am taking the Vitex one to two times a day, my prenatal vitamins and DHA daily, and acupuncture 2-3 times a week.  So I'm trying to stay hopeful and optimistic.  I had a short cycle this time, so maybe that's something good.

March is a busy month for me and my family.  We have 5 birthdays, literally weeks from each other.  My niece bday is March 2, DH is March 9, my sister's is March 16, my mom's is March 23 and my MIL is March 24.  So this past weekend, we celebrated my sister's 31st birthday.  You know, it's funny how you try to find the positives in IF.  This month was one of those times I was actually glad I wasn't PG.  I know I may have been taking advantage of the situation a little, but who wouldn't if you were in my shoes.  I've been drinking every weekend and this past one was no exception.  I actually may have drank more than I should have, but I'm glad I didn't get wasted.  I told hubby that I was making up for lost time from last weekend since I had to be DD for his bday.  Then with the rodeo in town, friends visiting, catching UFC fights, I'm not surprised that I'm enjoying this barren womb.  LOL.  Sorry.. a bit of sick IF humor there for you.  Plus tomorrow I'm off, so I'll prob be drinking tonight and then DH and I are going to the Maroon 5 concert with my BFF and her hubby.  And BFF is preggers, so that just means I have to drink for the both of us... hahahaha.  Anyways, as you can see March has been pretty exciting social-wise for us.

But being social also comes with its downfalls.  I'm still having to explain to friends why we haven't had kids.  I'm actually to the point where I just throw it out there about our IF, even to acquantainces.  I'm tired of the excuses, of sugar coating our situation.  I just put it out there and though the conversation can get kind of awkward, at least maybe they can stop asking.  Is it wrong that I get a kick out of it...  making it awkward for them?  Our conversation will go something like this...
Them: "Hey long time no see.  How are you?"
Me: "Good.  You?"
"Same here.  You know, same old same old.  How is married life treating you?  How's JC?"
"We're both good.  Still working, he's in school now, so he's trying to balance the two.  And how's the hubby and the kids?"
"We're good, hubby is still working at the same company.  Kids are growing fast.  Speaking of, when are you gonna start your family?  Have you started thinking about babies yet?"
"Oh, why yes!  It's been about what.... two and half years we've been trying?  Yeah, it's been a little difficult.  Believe me we want kids, it's just that infertility sucks."

"Honey, just relax it will happen"  OR  "Oh sweetie, stop trying so hard, you're just stressing yourself out."  OR  "Well it's good that you have this time for yourself right now.  Kids/Babies are alot of work."  OR  "God knows when it's your time.  Don't worry about it.  He'll bless you when you're ready."

"Well actually I have a medical condition called PCOS and I'm not able to get pregnant without medical intervention.  We've been through some treatments already but no luck so far.  Like I said, difficult but we are definately hopeful."  (Some people I even delve a little more information on what it is.  That my ovaries don't work right, that I have hormonal issues, etc.)

"Okay.... um, well I'll keep you in my prayers."  Or suddenly they get a text or they hear their kid calling for them, or they need to be somewhere soon or any other reason.  Some will even ask if we've tried fertility meds? (Ummmm.... Hello?  I said we've been through some treatments.) IVF? (we don't have that kind of money right now.  do you?  snarky, i know... lol) adoption? (nothing against this but since i'm being snarky... oh, why didn't I think of that?  your right it is alot cheaper... NOT!  or oh, I didn't think about that, I guess that is better than having to carry your own child or having a child you both created that shares your DNA... who needs that... sooo overated....) keeping your legs up?  doing a handstand?  being on top?  being on bottom?  letting him stay in there as long as he can?  (yes, yes, yes, yes, and oooh why didn't I think of that?  YES!  I guess they missed the part where I said that I have a medical condition.  Oh well.)

Anyways, off my soapbox.  Just went off a little tangent there.  My rant is over. 
So where was I?.... Oh yeah, so being in social situations can be a little awkward. This weekend I found out that 2 other friends are pregnant.  All news via Facebook. And just when I thought I could handle hearing these announcements, I find myself crumbling. Third announcement this month and we're not even at then end of March!  I guess we weren't the only ones who got busy on Valentine's Day. It was too much and I made the decision to deactivate my account.  I've heard of other gals TTC who did this for the very same reason, and now I completely understand.  Kudos for doing it sooner :)

So that's that for now.  We'll see what this next month brings.  Maybe without FB now, I can dedicate more time to working on course development for my summer class.  I've been procrastinating.  And hopefully burying myself in work can take my mind off TTC for a bit.  I think I'm going to take a break from temping this month too.  I need to hide my thermometer.

Did I O?

So the trigger is supposed to make me ovulate, right? Well my temps show no sign of it yet. It's making me a little nuts. I'm trying not to put too much thought into it. My temperatures have pretty much stayed consistently flat since the trigger, and I'm worried because I haven't seen the spike as of today. It's been 3 days since my trigger, and the trigger usually works within 36 hours from what I've read. I really haven't read anything online of someone NOT ovulating with a trigger... considering it's supposed to MAKE you ovulate.  The HCG is still showing up on my OPKs, so I know it's definitely still in my system. I'm just hoping the meds are what's affecting my temps. We BDed over the weekend and now I'm wondering if we should continue until I see the spike.



My Ovulation Chart

That's what's going on in my head today. No new symptoms... same old, same old. Food for thought...

Updates

So it's been a while since I last posted and some things have changed since then.  I fell off the wagon a couple of months ago.  And gained back nearly every pound I had lost.  I also got a new job.  I got re-hired with the company that laid me off last year and started at the beginning of May.  Since then, my health insurance has been reinstated so now I have medical coverage.  First thing on the list?.... Go for a full workup with a OB/Gyn.  I found a group in Houston when I was researching infertility.  It's called Women's Health Care Center of Houston and they have several locations around the Houston area.  I made an appointment with one of the nurse practitioners there, Mary Helen and first saw her about 3 weeks ago.  I was going there with the impression that I had developed PCOS and thereby making us infertile.  At my last Well-Woman exam, the midwife there suggested that I look into getting a workup done to get that checked out.  Since then, I've done some research on what it is, how it's managed, and how I can overcome infertility.  I was almost positive that this is what I had since I had all the signs and symptoms of it.  My intent in going to the clinic earlier this month was to get that diagnosed and treated.  During my consult, Mary Helen discussed with me the importance of losing weight in order to get all these problems under control; a lecture, I've heard many a times and knew inside and out.  I told her about my lack of success of losing weight and the yo-yo dieting I've gone through throughout the years; again, being fully aware that this is something she's heard time and time again.  Still got the lecture and details of what my diet and excercise should consist of... blah, blah, blah.  I know this all too well... after all, I have had success losing weight, it's just that keeping it off and lack of motivation are what the problems are.  Either way, she sent me off with a long list of blood work to be done and an appointment with the ultrasound tech to have my ovaries and uterus looked at.  I had my blood drawn a few days later and a week after that (yesterday), I had my ultrasound which was a bit uncomfortable.  I guess it's what to expect when you have a long probe sticking into your girly bits and moving around down there, all the while having to push down on your ovaries, can give anyone discomfort.

Anyhow, today was my follow-up with Mary Helen and JC was there to join me this time.  Turns out that I DO NOT have PCOS, but I still have issues with my hormone levels.  She had diagnosed me with 1)Hypothyroidism 2)Borderline Diabetic 3) Hyperprolactinemia 4)Excessive testosterone production and 5)Mild fatty liver.  What does this all mean?  Basically, since my hormones are all out of whack, I am unable to ovulate, therefore I don't have regular menstrual cycles.  This mostly is due to my thyroid not producing enough hormones to stimulate my pituitary gland into regulating everything else.  Therefore my body produces more prolactin and testosterone (also hormones).  And all these contribute to the signs and symptoms I had originally thought were caused by PCOS (obesity, facial hair, acne, irritability, amenorrhea/oligomemorrhea, food cravings, dark skin patches, low energy, and infertility).  I asked her if these were all caused from me being obese and she said it could be possibly both obesity and genetics.  Either way, losing weight is still gonna have to be my main goal, since weigh loss can decrease all these problems.  Understood.  So she is putting me on 3 medications to control these hormones and according to her in about 2-4 weeks my hormones should level out to produce regular menstrual cycles.  Then in about 3 months (hopefully!), AND THIS IS THE BEST NEWS... I may be able to get pregnant!!!  JC and I are soooooooo excited!  That's the best thing I've heard in a long, long, time.  It gives me renewed hope!  I can't wait!  She said once AF comes, I should have my labs re-drawn to see what my levels look like, so she gave me the lab slip for when that time comes around.  Also, she gave us a referral to a fertility clinic to have hubby's sperm analyzed so that we can have all our bases covered.  I'm not really worried about that, since I'm pretty sure that it's all me... but you never know.  Hubby is game for anything and being really supportive during this time.

Speaking of which, we've both been eating better and managing our food intake.  I'm still using Spark People and have even started using their menu plans (although there's been some hits and misses).  Also, I joined Curves gym on a free 30-day trial run.  My thoughts so far is that this is not gonna be for me.  Though I enjoy the small gym and circuit rotations, the setting is a bit to intimate for me.  There's only a few women who are there at a time and with the exercise coach there in full view, she gives you a lot of focus and attention; something that makes me a bit uncomfortable.  I also went to me very first Zumba class last nigh, and I LOVED it!  I may have a bit of social anxiety, but I like the idea of disappearing in the crowd.  With everyone around you dancing and sweating and no one there you know, I don't feel like I'm being judged and I can just blend into to background of people.  I worked up quite a sweat and it felt good!  Best of all, it's free!  I think this will be my weapon of choice... Zumba here I come!  Also, I'm thinking of bringing my nieces along for the experience.  I think it's something they would enjoy too... and also trying to still get my sis to tag along.

So that's all for now.  Last week's weigh in I was down 6 pounds!  So keep it up Mely!!!

The Big O?

So I'm CD 39 today, and I've been checking my CM and doing OPKs for the past week.  This past Thursday and Friday, I had what seemed like highly fertile CM!  Even though OPKs still read negative, I still have hopes that perhaps I ovulated.  So after BD, we shall see what happens.  According to my chart, my temps have consistently stayed low, but yesterday I threw off my sleep schedule by taking a long nap, so I'm not too sure what my actual waking temp is.  I took it when I first woke up from my nap around 12 midnight and it was around 97.14 and then I took it again when I woke up from my "sleep-sleep" around 1 pm and it was a whole degree higher at 98.14.  So I don't know which one to record.  I usually take my temps around 6:30 am, so you can see my dilemma.  Anyways, tomorrow I'll be back on schedule so we'll see what my temp reads.

As for my weight loss update, I only lost 1 pound last week.  But I can't be too disappointed since I was kind of bad last week.  I didn't work out or record my foods.  Oh well.  Hopefully this week will be a lot better.

Week 1

So far so good.  I've kept up with my calorie count and exercising twice a day.  I'm feeling pumped and can't wait till Sunday when I weigh myself and take my measurements!  I'm currently doing my own thing, but getting a little help from Spark People.  It's a site that generates a weight loss plan for you, monitors your caloric intake and fitness regimen and gives you customized meal plans.  It also has a community board where you can talk with other members.  Right now, I'm burning more calories than I'm consuming, but this won't go on much longer since I read that can be bad for you.  But since I'm staying within my calorie level, I'm not gonna worry about it now.

As far as what I'm eating, I'm going what with we have around the house.  Since right now, we're pinching pennies since losing my job, I can't really use the meal plans that are generated for me on the website.  That would mean buying alot more groceries than we need.  And since I'm also trying my hand at couponing, we only really buy what's necessary or what we can get for cheap/free... so I have to work my diet around those circumstances.  But it's working out so far.  I  know it's only week one, but I'm very optimistic.

Exercising has been quite a challenge... as always, but this time it's not finding the time or the motivation to do it.  I have alot of time on my hands now, as well as the motivation.  I'm really, really getting the baby itch and I don't have many more years to wait, especially with wanting to have as many kids as I want... the time to start is now.   The challenge in exercising has been my stamina... meaning, I am REALLY out of shape and it's killing me.  For some reason, my feet really hurt whenever I work out.  I started noticing this last year when JC and I attempted the Couch to 2K program.  Whenever we went to the track to walk/jog, my feet started killing me only a few minutes after starting.  I thought it was just cuz I was wearing a new pair of tennis shoes.  Wrong, they hurt even with my comfy, beat-up work sneakers.  Then I thought it was cuz I was trying to run (something very new to me).  Wrong again.  They hurt even when I'm just doing aerobics... even doing lunges or something when I'm sort of stationary.  It boggles my mind, but I'm trying to push past the pain.  And now that I had my carpal tunnel surgery done 2 months back, my right hand is still healing and I can't do some of the floorwork exercises that I want to try, like push-ups, kneeling leg lifts, side planks, and various yoga positons.  It's very frustrating.  It hurts when I put any weight on my right palm, since the incision site is still sore, and my wrist is still weak, so any I can't bear very much weight on it.  One last thing that is very frustrating is my lower back pain.  Now this is nothing new, nor is it anything that bothers me on a daily basis.  However, I've always had this pain/sensitivity on my lower back right above my coccyx area.  It's hard to lay flat on my back on hard surfaces.  It's also hard to do abdominal floor work where you put any pressure in that area (i.e. sit-ups, sitting "V", reverse crunches).  It's just alot of pain in that area and even though I use padding to support that area, it's still kind of difficult.  Other than those issues, my workouts have been great.  I've been using my heart rate monitor (HRM) to track my minutes, heart rate, and calories burned and it's been a great tool.  I can input my actual calories burned every work out.  So far, I've just been using various workout videos, Zumba youtube videos, and Wii dance games to get my exercise in.  And it's been fun to do it in the comfort of my own home.  I'm hoping to lose at least 10 lbs these 1st two weeks.

Now to on to a different update.  Aunt Flo came for a visit last night.  I hadn't seen her since September, and believe it or not I was starting to miss her.  I got a prescription for Medroxyprogesterone from the midwife 2 weeks ago and started taking it for 10 days.  Going past 90 days with no menstrual period is bad especially when not pregnant or taking any BC pills.  My obesity makes me irregular and it's the main reason why we haven't gotten pregnant to date.  The RX helps shed the lining of my uterus and makes me have a faux period of sorts (it's a little more complicated than that, of course) and once I start my period, I can start monitoring my cycles and BBT once again.  In 12 days, I will re-start the natural Progesterone creame twice a day which will help regulate my cycle.  I use it for 26 days then stop 7 days, and repeat this cycle.  It's kind of like the pill but without the pregnancy protection... LOL.  So of course my period has been really heavy since starting, but I'm hoping it won't last long since I've got a birthday to prepare for :)  Tomorrow I will start my ovulation charting again on Fertility Friend... which has been another great tool in getting ready for baby-making.  So here's to healthy living and getting knocked up sometime later this year!  Cheers!

9 DPO

So this may be the one!  Today marks my 9th day post ovulation (DPO) and I'm just waiting to test.

To give a little background on myself:
I had been on oral contraceptives for a few years.  I first started using them in my early 20's as a means of regulating my menstrual cycles.  I went off them for about 3 years, and when I still continued having irregular cycles, I went back on them until about a year ago.   I decided I should go off the pill so as to prepare my body for when we try to conceive. About a month after our wedding last October, JC and I decided that if it happens, it happens, so we stopped using birth control.  My body had gone back to irregular cycles, so there were times when we weren't sure if I was pregnant or not.  After a few weeks of negative home pregnancy tests (HPTs), I decided to go see my doctor.  She ordered a lab workup, and it all came out clear.  So I could only attribute my irregularity to my obesity, which is something I've always been warned about.  It is known that obese women have trouble getting pregnant and risk dangers while pregnant.  I have tried a few times to lose weight but have been unsuccessful.  Because of this, I knew we would have a long and difficult journey ahead of us.

Now that we are sitting at nearly a year after all this, JC and I are really concerned about be not being able to get knocked up.  We've recently decided that we will start trying to conceive (TTC).  And so that meant me going back to the doctor to get another check up.  I went to this women's health and birth center in Pearland that my good friend Tanya recommended to me awhile back.  I am hoping for a natural birth, so I figured that I would start seeing the midwife here for general checkups and exams so that when our time came, we would already have that relationship established.  So about 2 months ago I went in for a pre-conception consult.  We went over my medical/family history and she ran some bloodwork on me.  Again all came out well.  She suggested I try some natural progesterone hormone cream to help regulate my cycles.  Use it twice a day for 21 days then stop for 7 days and repeat.  Simple enough right?  Well I started it that evening and 12 days after starting, Aunt Flo (AF) came for a visit.  I called the midwife to see if I should continued to use it till day 28, but she didn't return my phone calls for 2 days.  So I looked online and saw that once you start your period, your supposed to wait 12 days until after you stop, to go back to using it.  So I did this.  In the meantime, I've been recording my basal body temperature (BBT) every morning and monitoring my cervical mucus (CM)... both of which are very important if you are seriously TTC.  I use a program on Fertility Friend that helps monitor things while you are TTC.  This past month I presented with some fertile CM and took advantage of it.  So far my chart shows that I definately ovulated on September 26, which made our intercourse timing good!  As predicted, my temperatures have stayed elevated for 8 days since and these are all good signs.  Before, I had erratic and annovulatory charts.  I am still on the progesterone cream and just awaiting October 14th, when I can finally test!  (That is if that nagging AF doesn't come for a visit first.)

Another thing that I've noticed are several symptoms that have started more recently, including headaches, heartburn, bachaches, low energy, and gas.  These are all things that need to be recorded as you TTC.  Recently we've also been under alot of stress with trying to buy a house and that doesn't help: 1.) me trying to get pregnant and 2.) some of these symptoms can go hand in hand w/ stress.  So now with a combination of stress and perhaps even "psyching" myself out I'm experiencing all these symptoms that I normally wouldn't.  So you can see why I'm anticipating the day when I can test. I am staying positive that all these signs could mean one thing, but also not trying to keep my hopes up high... just in case.  But for some reason, I'm still leaning more towards the hopeful side and can't help but think.... THIS IS THE ONE :)  So until then...