Friday, December 20, 2013

Sad :(

Oh wow!
What a wakeup call...
Yeah... It still hurts...
Be brave and put on a happy face, you can do it.

Let me explain.  I'm here at work and one my doc's wife walks in with their kids.  Kids are super cute. They are saying hello to everyone and my coworkers are smiling and laughing.  "Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad" the little 6 year old girl is saying.  2 year old boy is just looking around and getting passed btwn the arms of other co-workers. And me....i have to try and duck out to the bathroom before anyone sees the forced fake smile and get it together before the tears start flowing.  Almost... Trying to hold it in, but that lump is just sitting there at the back of my throat. Tears sitting in the wells of my eyes and now the nose is running.

I'll blame it on allergies

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

A Much Needed Update

So as 2013 comes near the end, I can't say that we've had any life-changing events.  In fact it was pretty unremarkable... except for the whole foreign student exchange thing.

And what's up with that you ask?  Well it's a pretty long story, but to sum it up, both girls have been placed with new host families.  Due to a combination of different personalities, different lifestyles, and different interests everyone at home was a little unhappy and frustrated with each other.  Girls were with us only two and a half months, but we did learn a lot during that time.

1. We are never doing it again... lol. 
2.  Fostering is out of the question
3.  I learned I really enjoy cooking
4.  I miss the gym... really
5.  I miss my "ME" time
6.  I took sleeping sans clothing for granted
7.  I really have a threshold for pleasing people
8.  DH needs to change his hours if we are to ever have kids of our own
9.  I really love my furbabies
10.  .... and this was a big one... I don't think we are ready to be parents

Yes, I know... is anyone every "really" ready?  But this experience was such a huge disappointment that it made me question whether I really wanted to have kids.  Especially with the hours DH and I work.  If I wasn't at work, I was at home with the girls.  It was tiring tending to them... and they're 17!  DH had it easy.  He only saw them on the weekends.  He works M-F 3-11pm, so he left for work right before the girls got home from school and by the time he came home, we were all asleep.  I begged him to take them on the weekend.  I dreaded waking up on the weekend... what kind of life is that?  Obviously I wasn't happy with the situation either.  DH tells me our kids will be different, because we will raise them the way we want.  I see his point, but still I realized how much I enjoy my alone time.  I dunno, maybe I'm just tired with the whole TTCing issue and it comes out this way but either way, I told hubby I'm not ready for TTC anytime soon.

Which brings me to a new subject.  AF has finally arrived after CD253!  What the what?!  So what happened?  Well first off, I didn't really miss it one bit.  No worries on spotting, staining.... no having to buy pads and tampons for 8 months.  No PMS, no menstrual cramps.  Yeah, it was fun while it lasted but deep down inside I knew it wasn't right.  But with no health insurance and keeping my mind busy with other things (and other people) I just didn't deal with it.  Now that the girls are gone, I'm back on track with working out, and I've learned a new hobby in cooking (so now we don't eat out as much) I've decided to focus on me and my health.  Especially when this phase of not wanting kids passes, I'm gonna want to jump back on that TTC train.  So about 3 weeks ago I started back on Vitex and progesterone cream.  I figured my PCOS was probably out of control and I needed a much needed visit from AF eventually.  So I did a little research to refresh my memory on how to use Vitex and the cream as an aid in managing PCOS.  I'm taking Vitex 2x a day and using 40mg of progesterone twice a day as well.  Lo and behold 2 weeks later she makes a surprise visit.  Score one for Mely!  While off the vitex and progesterone during AF, I start to incorporate a daily cinnamon supplement as well.  I've done the research and confident that the cinnamon will help in managing these health issues.  I'm taking a 1000mg tablet twice a day.  It's proven to help control blood glucose and insulin resistance... the major dilemma in PCOS.  The vitex helps regulate menstrual cycles and the cream is used to help boost progesterone levels.  These are all natural ways to maintain and regulate the female reproductive system so I'm hoping that with proper diet and exercise, I will soon be on my way to being PCOS-free.  I guess in a way, I'm indirectly TTCing... lol.  I just want to feel better and funny enough, I think it's working not only has AF come (I'm CD 14), but I feel more feminine... I feel like wearing makeup everyday.

That's about it.  Not planning for much in 2014, just want to get healthier.  Until next time...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Grocery Shopping

I'm starting a new grocery trend and so far 1st week has gone well.  Our family has dwindled back down to the two of us and our fur babies... more on that another time.  So as usual we eat out often and go grocery shopping maybe every 4-6 weeks.  Bad, I know.  So basically you can guess we live off frozen, non-perishable food items.  Produce isn't seen very much and it's unfortunate as this type of lifestyle isn't helping our weight/fertility issues.  So now that I've had a brief time playing "mom", I've learned to appreciate cooking.  I'm taking a small step to help us eat better, and save more money.  Back in my couponing days, I grew fond of a particular site foodonthetable.com  It is a site that matches up things that are on sale at your local grocery store with recipe ideas.  That way, if you enjoy saving a few bucks, you can plan your week's menu accordingly.  Problem was at the time 1) I wasn't much of a food planner 2) I was always on some sort of diet 3) I didn't really cook and 4) I had better things to do.  Now that I've cooked my fair share of dinners, and now that we're trying to pinch pennies until the end of the year, I've decided to change things up a little.  I've been looking at a few blogs about menu planning for both grocery shopping hauls and losing weight and now I think I'm ready for the challenge.  So here's what I've been doing for the past two weeks.

We live pretty close to 3 major grocery store chains (2 of which give us fuel points when we shop there, so these are the stores I prefer to shop at... might as well save money on gas too!)  So I first go to foodonthetable.com and search for my local store's sale items.  I go through the list and jot down any items that we are in need of (including non food items) or that we eat regularly.  Anything else that pops out, looks interesting, or is a really good sale I jot down too.  So I usually end up with a list of about 2 dozen items.  Then I grab the list off the fridge of the things we need to get (regardless of sale) or running low on and I write those items down too.

Next, I search for recipes on the website of foods that I have "extra" of (i.e. can of beans I have sitting around, pack of rice I need to use, the shrimp that needs to be cooked, etc).  Then I match those recipes with any other items I had listed down and... VOILA!  There's dinner!  For instance, I had a can of coconut milk sitting in my pantry, and half a bag of rice... I type in coconut milk and up pops up Thai chicken with basil and coconut milk!  MMMMM.... So then I see that the chicken is on sale and so I highlight it.  On the back of the page I number 1-7 (7 days a week).  Next to #1 I put Thai chicken and rice.  Another example:  I have two cans of navy beans I need to use.  Search pulls up navy bean and ham soup.  Ham is on sale and so is the celery (another ingredient).  List that down on #2.  And so on.  I continue until I fill up 5 lines worth of dinner meals.  Line 6 and 7 is "extra" considering it's just the two of us and we usually eat leftovers one or two days out of the week.  Also, if I'm too tired to cook one day, there's always a spare pizza or frozen pasta dish in the freezer.

Anything left on the list that I haven't paired with any menu item gets crossed off the list.  I usually rewrite this list and organize it a little more according to store aisle and BOOM there's my grocery haul for the week.  So far so good!  I haven't calculated our savings yet as we have just started this trend and when we first went shopping our refrigerator and pantry were almost empty, so it was a big haul.

When we get back from the store and put up all the groceries, I write on the magnetic memo board on our fridge the menu for the week.  I don't like assigning meals to certain days as maybe I'm too tired to cook or I don't feel like that food that day.  Having a list of meals makes it look like a restaurant menu and so I can pick what I want to eat or hubby can pick what he wants to make on the weekend (We have an agreement he cooks on the weekends if I don't offer).

If I am craving anything or I run across something interesting while searching recipes, I'll jot it down and make note for the next week. 

And that's about it.

What about lunch and dinner you ask?  Well, for lunch it's usually leftovers and I cook enough to last for about 3 days (damn these family recipes) or we always stock up on frozen microwave meals (hubby prefers these since there is a plethora of choices and since he doesn't have a fridge at work, the frozen meals keep till it's time for his lunch).  And breakfast?  I eat breakfast on the go, so that means a cup of yogurt, a piece of fruit, a microwave breakfast sandwich, or just plain ole coffee.  So those are always a staple in our home.  Hubby usually does cereal, or leftovers from the night before.  So as you can see, not much planning needed there.  Maybe when the weight loss thing needs to get more serious, that'll change (it always does).

So there you go.  My grocery shopping and menu planning in a nut shell (yeah, right)

Monday, August 5, 2013

Trouble in CAR-idise BEDA#5

Sorry for skipping a couple of days, but as you can see from the title of today's blog, hubby and I have been experiencing some car issues. 

BEDA #4

I'm at work this morning, 5 minutes late but who's counting.  I kind of wish I'd taken the day off.  There's really nothing for me to do here today.  I'm contracted to do a particular type of testing and they schedule me to be here at the hospital every Monday.  Well today I'm here and though there are patients that need testing, there is no doctor here to sign off on the tests.  Therefore, I can't test today.  So I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs.  This is getting really old.  I mean sure some people would say "I'd love to get paid to sit around and do nothing", and I do enjoy it.... to an extent.  But I'm that type of person who needs to stay busy and feel like I've earned my pay.  I kind of feel like when I'm here and not testing, everyone in my department notices.  But it's out of my hands, it's up to the hospital to hire more doctors in my specialty.  Plus the days drag on and on when I'm not testing.  I haven't even been here an hour and I'm bored out of my mind... and I've got 7 more hours of this bullsh*t left today.

On days that I'm not testing, I try to take advantage of learning new skills, so I try and shadow other techs to learn about other testing.  Most of the techs here in this department are pretty cool and willing to help train you.  Plus there are students that come in a couple times a week from the local college, so the techs are used to it.  Today the students are here and I understand they have 1st priority.  However there is one tech here without a student and when I ask if I can work with her today, she gives every excuse under the sun to keep me away.  I understand "No" the first time, don't keep rubbing it in.  So I'm stuck here in my "room" (which is basically a storage closet) trying to keep busy... which right now means writing this blog.  I pulled out a couple if books so that I can try to study today, but I have a short attention span so we'll see how long that lasts.

This is starting to get real old, and I dunno how much longer I can do this.  I've given myself 6 more months to see if things change.  If not, I'm ready to turn in my resignation letter.

Mood: frustrated

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Last Night BEDA #3

so last night was quite a night.  we went to Dave and Buster's to meet up friends for bowling.  somehow my Fung shway was way off and I sucked at both games we played.  I kept throwing gutter balls, and my arm, hand and wrist were getting sorer the longer we played.  I knew something was off, but couldn't quite figure it out.  hubby on the other hand brought his A-game as usual.  he was the top scorer of the night. of course he's competitive so he wasn't shy about it either.  then after bowling, we sat for a quick dinner.  hubby and I split a dinner plate and had an appetizer.  we also drank throughout the night.  probably not good for calorie counting but I didn't care, I was gonna enjoy the night.  afterwards we walked next door to a local club.  they were running a Facebook promotion, where you got free cover before 11pm.  then as we were waiting in line to get in, we saw that they were promoting the UFC fight with $3 drinks until 10pm.  hubby and I were super excited!  It turns out they were hosting the UFC fights in one of their rooms.  what a pleasant surprise to both hubby and I.  we went to the room and soon a couple of friends joined us.  though they aren't into UFC as much as we are, they sat with us through a couple of fights.  they were able to grab some of the $3 drink specials, but by the time hubby got to the bar, the drink special was gone.  hubby and I watched the fights till the end, then we made our way to the karaoke room where are our friends were waiting for us.  we were enjoying singing along and listening to different songs.  my friend even put an a song for us all to sing. but we waited through six songs and they still hadn't called us so we left to go dancing.  By now the dance rooms  were starting to get packed, but we were able to enjoy the rest of the night dancing it up, and boy did we dance.  we were sweating and having a great time.  I forgot how much fun that club was.  plus it didn't hurt that I had a few drinks... maybe to many, lol.  we stayed till the club closed, and afterwards I remember telling hubby that I was craving Jack in the Box tacos.  he stopped by to buy some on our way home, but I was falling asleep in the car.  by the time we got home, I had just enough energy to walk through the door, and kick off my heels.  I did a face plant on the bed and was out like a lightbulb.  I didn't even get undressed or take off my jewelry and lashes.  I must've woken up in the middle of the morning, slipped out of my clothes, pulled off my lashes and jewelry and crashed out again.  when I woke up early afternoon, I was a bit confused as to how I got home.  my phone was dead and my mouth was parched.  I got up to grab some water and let the dogs out for the morning.  yeah, needless to say I was drunk last night.  but still we had lots of fun.

I didn't think I had a hangover this morning, but I did feel in a lazy mood and didn't get much cleaning done.  I mainly just dusted off the coffee tables and TV stand.  we were supposed to go grocery shopping, but that didn't happen either.  then I fell asleep for a late nap, and when I woke up I realized it was already night time.  so now I'm hungry for dinner I'm wide awake, and I'm scheduled to go to work in the morning.  what am I to do?

Saturday, August 3, 2013

A Night with Friends BEDA #2

So exited for tonight's activities!  We have couples date night planned.  There will be a big group of us hanging out to go out to eat, bowling, and end the night dancing.  It's been awhile since we've gone bowling or to a club to go dancing. 

I didn't get much cleaning done today.  But I did get a chance to dust off our coffee table, throw out a bunch of old magazines, and go through and shred a bunch of mail and old documents that were cluttering our dining room table.  Still lots to get done, but I'm hoping to make more leeway tomorrow.