So I had my hopes up that this cycle would work. I know it's just our first medicated cycle, but I was really optimistic that this would be the one. Sadly I was mistaken...
I went in for my follicle search yesterday, highly anticipating good news. The US was very uncomfortable and she had the probe shoved in pretty deep. I don't know much about what I was seeing, but I do know she was measuring something. I could see numbers like 28mm and 32 mm which I got really excited about. From what I've been reading online, mature follicles are over 24 mm big. I asked the tech whether she could tell if I ovulated or not since I had a "positive" OPK on CD 10, but she told me she couldn't tell me and that I would have to talk to the nurse. The procedure was done in about 10 minutes and she had me wait for Trudy.
When Trudy brought me into her office, she told me that the search found no mature follicles. I knew what this meant and immediately felt crushed. I was alone, so I couldn't let myself fall apart. Basically, the US had found no dominant follicle, meaning I wouldn't be ovulating this cycle. Therefore we had to cancel the trigger. She proceeded to tell me that we would try another cycle this time increasing my dosage on the Serophene (clomid) to one and a half tablets for five days; again starting on CD3. Then we would do another follicle search again on CD14, and hopefully be able to trigger. She told me that if the second cycle didn't work, she would schedule me a lap (laproscopy). This is a day surgery in which the doctor would go in and zap the "cysts" from my ovaries, thereby enabling them to work a little better. Then we would try another medicated cycle, hoping the surgery fixed the problem. Again, small steps at a time, but unfortunately more money out of our pockets since my insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments. She also asked me if the hubby and I had talked about IVF. I was a little shocked she brought this up considering it was only my 1st clomid cycle, but considering how agressive we are being with the IF treatments, I shouldn't have been surprised. I told her we discussed it very briefly but hadn't made any decisions. She gave me a heads up on the costs.... approximately $12,000 all said and done for ONE treatment! And there's NO guarantee it would work. I didn't say much after that and told her we were gonna keep trying with the meds until I can't do anymore. Clomid works best when used within the first 6 cycles and after that the success rate declines. But she said we could try up to 9 cycles if we wanted to choose that route. I told her we'd take one cycle at a time and she agreed that was the best decision, but wanted to give all options. She asked how I was doing and if all was okay. I kinda just shrugged my shoulders and told her it's been hard, but what could I do. I left after exchanging wishes for a happy holiday season with her and she said she'd see me next year.
Walking to my car, I had this huge lump in my throat and I was rushing to get into my car so that I could let it out. When I got in, I called JC and told him everything that happened and burst into tears. He too was disappointed, but tried to be strong for me. He told me to just keep doing what I've been doing to lose weight and hopefully in a month I would lose a few more pounds that will help with IF. I know, I know. But it's just so hard to get up and dust yourself off. I really didn't want to go to the gym after that, but I forced myself and did the most cardio I've done thus far. An hour and a half (usually I just do an hour).
We still stuck to our TI scheudle and BD last night, though it was kind of bittersweet. We have one more day of TI tomorrow and that will be the end for this cycle (planned BD that is, lol). I'm supposed to start taking the prometrium tomorrow through day 32/34 and stop if BFN. Till then, all I can do is hope for two lines on my OPK even though Trudy said there wasn't really any chance I'd O this cycle. Still hoping though.
So until then, we wait for AF so that we can start over.
IF sux, in case I haven't stated the obvious.
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